I got a lot out of Loretta J. Ross's book Calling in.
Calling in is an alternative to calling out. She says, "Calling in considers whether we can connect with others before we start shouting them down. It allows us to reach other people as people, to breathe a little easier, and, ultimately, to get things done. Calling in builds bridges instead of burning them down so that we might walk together along the path toward collective liberation."
And while calling out is appropriate at times (Ross explains when this may be so), calling in helps us tap into love, curiosity, and connection. It's about healing divides rather than creating bigger ones.
"Calling in can help us model the world we want to achieve at the end of our efforts: a world with more joy and forgiveness and less shame and cruelty, a world where people don’t need to feel afraid and can feel empowered to pursue the common good, even if we make mistakes along the way. We can avoid the shame of not being enough, or not knowing enough."
The quotes in this thread all come from the book, and they are interspersed with my personal notes that either explain concepts or interject my reactions. I don't have page numbers for the quotes because I read a digital copy.
Maybe the ideas will resonate. Maybe you'll want to read the book. Or maybe one of the points will help you during the holiday season with family members.
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